Thursday, August 28, 2008

Forward Motion

I've seen people do these surveys that are soundtracks of their lives, and I think how remarkably true it is. Music does so much for people. Lifts the mood, inspires, catharsizes (not a word, but I like the sound of it; catharsis as a verb), and defines in a way that sometimes I can't do for myself.

Like now. The hit single for my life soundtrack is Forward Motion by Relient K. It's not exactly what it sounds like. Yes, it is about being stuck in a rut, but why.

We're easily distracted, humans. Beyond the 'Oh, Shiny!' that most of us can do, we have the capacity to think things to death. Like the past.

Forward Motion is going beyond sight of your past, not looking behind but ahead. Because when you start looking at the past, its easy to start moving that way. To live in retrospect, in memories, in things you did or didn't do and what it might have been. To live in a dreamed about reality, alternative from where you are.

Yeah, I struggle with Forward Motion. Second guess whether I could or should ask that guy for coffee, whether that ties me to the area or if it just frees me from wondering what might have been, if I didn't.

Can't decide whether to seriously start researching a move out of state, or whether to just let it simmer, and torture myself in the 'what ifs' for my future. So I think about past homes, past good experiences, to take me out of the frustrating present. I struggle with Forward Motion.